Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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