My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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