i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize