I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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