when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
