Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
