just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
