dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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