I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
