If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
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