How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
