did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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