Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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