So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
