She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
being pregnant is like rehab
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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