Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
