We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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