I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize