no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
