I cannot find my penis.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wish there were birth control emojis
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
