Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
