yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
