The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
