Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
