just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
