After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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