It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
