I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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