Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I look better un-naked...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
