Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
