I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
