Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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