He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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