Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm like, not good at living.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
