Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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