Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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