WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
