My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize