bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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