Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
