why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
