Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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