Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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