dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
