dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
