At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
