susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
