Jerry, you need to find god
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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