you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
