i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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