You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
