why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize