i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
