Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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