Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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