If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
