You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
