We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
