I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
