I'm going to jail i love you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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