Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
