I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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