I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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