When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
