You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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