Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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