Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
