yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
