he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
