Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
