im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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