too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
