sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
