I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
