i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
