i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
