is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
