hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize