Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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