He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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